Reminiscence
by mikancchi
Summary: This is in Hotaru's PV. It's when she gets hit by the bullet and Mikan and the others including Penguin follow the Z members to get the cure for the poison. R&R please!


**Penguin**

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice does not belong to me.

* * *

_"Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love."_

'Okaa-san...'

I open my eyes. It is painful...My shoulder hurts. I am lying on a bed it seems, with an oxygen mask covering my nose and mouth.

I blink my eyes slowly and turn my face slightly to the right. I see Koko looking at me behind the glass window.

I watch as Koko turned around to say something, and Mikan and others come running up. Of course, the idiot is crying –her eyes are red and swollen, and she has a bit of snot coming out of her nose.

I look at Koko.

'Please tell Mikan...Pig.'

I watch as Koko told Mikan what she thought. Mikan falls to the floor, by shock, it seems, at the word pig. But that was exactly how she looked like. How ugly.

'What kind of expression is that! Idiot! I'm fine!'

I see Mikan looking at me, her eyes still full of tears and anxiety.

'I don't need you to worry...I'm fine. I'm not a blade of grass. I'll be fine.'

I see Mikan coming up closer, pressing her palms up against the glass.

'You don't have to cry, Mikan!'

And as I expected, tears start to fall rapidly down her cheeks. I close my eyes.

_It hurts..._

* * *

I open my eyes again. I look again to the right. There was no one there.

"Are you awake?" A nurse talks to me. "I'll give you some more painkillers."

I close my eyes. How boring...with nothing to distract me from the pain. I then feel worry. And confusion.

I look to the glass. This time, I saw Hyuuga kicking Penguin.

'Why did you do that to Penguin?'

Hyuuga, who is walking away, turns around. And looks at me. His eyes turn wide with surprise.

'It's very expensive. If it's damaged, you'll have to pay for it.'

Hyuuga just kept staring at me.

'Why are you here alone?' I continue my thoughts. 'The place you should be at right now...is by Mikan's side!'

That boy is as much idiotic as Mikan. He keeps staring at me, unmoving. How long is he going to stay like that?

Hyuuga turns around, back towards me. I see that my other classmates have also come. I watch their mouths move. I can't hear anything except for the slight whirring of the machine.

Penguin looks at me in Nonoko's arms.

Penguin...You must protect Mikan, ok? Help her in my place...

You must become that child's strength alright?

You must, in place of me...

You must protect that child...

As Hyuuga turns to leave, he gives me a backward glance. I look back at him impassively. What an idiot. I close my eyes.

I'm counting on you Penguin.

_It hurts..._

* * *

I see Penguin causing more trouble to the group. Mikan, Hyuuga, Nogi, Tsubasa...

So they went after Z...

Man-eating plant, alice converted trees...

I open my eyes and see a nurse and Misaki-sensei over me. I faintly hear him saying, "Imai. Are you awake? Ah...the painkillers would have worn off by now."

"Pen..."

"Your brother should be here soon."

"Penguin..."

I see Misaki look at me. "Hmm?"

"How useless."

The last thing I see were their shocked faces.

Mikan...

_It hurts..._

* * *

There is a hole. A skeleton's arm. Mikan is being dragged into the sand hole.

I take short shallow breaths. My body feels hot. It stings. The pain is so irritating. I hear things faintly. Is my brother here?

"Doctor, the patient's condition has suddenly worsened."

"Increase of medication."

"Imai...Hang on..."

"Even though President Imai's alice is helping, it's still the body of a child..."

Mikan...

"Defending against the strong poison robs her much of her strength..."

Mikan...

"Ganbatte Imai!"

"Uh..." I murmur. "Slow and idiotic brinjal..."

I don't hear anything anymore. I slowly drift out of consciousness.

Slow...Slow and idiotic brinjal...just like Penguin...

_It hurts..._

* * *

I feel danger. Mikan with the old man and Hyuuga and others standing behind a sea of flames, dividing them.

Shadow's leg is stoned. So is Hyuuga's arm. Nogi seems to be unconscious.

Penguin...

You useless stupid eggplant Penguin!

I see Mikan grabbing the old man.

Mikan...

Be safe...

_It hurts..._

* * *

I see Mikan holding onto Penguin. The ground cracks. They fall, Mikan barely grabbing onto the edge of the cracked floor.

Nogi helps Mikan. Mikan wants to help Penguin.

Stupid Penguin.

Tsubasa comes along to help them. The ground shakes. More cracking. Bits of the ceiling scarcely miss them.

Mikan is reaching for Penguin, her hand shaking.

Mikan almost falls down. Shadow holds her tighter.

I feel Penguin crying. I feel it smile.

Penguin?

I see Penguin let go of the ground.

No...

Penguin falls.

No...

I see Mikan shouting. "PENGUIN!"

Something vanishes within me.

* * *

I open my eyes. Misaki is still there with the nurse. Onii-san is sitting beside my bed. The presence of Penguin is gone.

"Doctor, the patient is awake."

"...guin... Penguin..."

Onii-san looks at me.

I gaze up at nothing. Something slides down my face, slowly. It is wet.

"Idiot...Idiot..."

I close my eyes. It is tears that streak down my face.

_It hurts..._

* * *

_Beep. Beep._

I gaze around the empty room. I hear the door open.

I tilt my head to the left. Onii-san walks towards me. He holds out a vial in his hand.

"Drink this. Your friend got me to bring it here."

I look at him. We both look to each other's eyes, impassively.

Mikan is safe.

_But naught for a sacrifice..._

"It seems to be for you to regain your health. Everyone spent a lot of effort getting them back..."

I know that.

I know that very well.

I probably know the best...

He removes the oxygen mask. It's hard for me to breathe.

He opens the vial. "Drink it."

I look at the colorless liquid. So much trouble to get such a small thing.

He tilts my head back. I open my mouth.

_All it took was one thing...one little thing to destroy..._

I swallow the liquid.

_It hurts..._

* * *

Misaki-sensei carries me out of the car. I can already hear them calling my name.

I see them all run towards me.

He sets me down. I walk slowly towards Mikan.

She stares at me. "Hotaru...Hotaru...Ho-"

"How many times must you call me before you're happy," I say.

_Why are you crying? You're just a machine. Penguin..._

I look at Mikan. "I already know everything..."

I see tears well up in her eyes. She lowers her head.

"Hotaru-chan...Your shoulder doesn't hurt anymore?"

"...I'm doing fine."

"Your body...doesn't hurt anymore?"

"Yes."

Mikan looks at me. I see the tears threatening to fall.

"Hotaru...Ho-"

I feel the corners of my mouth lift up, just a bit. "Baka. What are you worrying about? Crybaby." I gently lift a tear with my finger.

She flings herself to me. "Hotaru..."

She is crying.

I close my eyes. I hug her with a small smile.

"Hotaru..."

_It hurts..._

* * *

I am dressed in warm clothes. I hold a piece of Christmas cake on a plate. I leave it beside the Penguin snowman that the class made as a farewell.

Someone asks, "Can't we make another Penguin again?"

I smile gently. I look at the Penguin snow figure and stick a fork in its hand.

What is gone is gone. 

It won't come back. 

Nothing can replace it. 

So cherish it-

While it still lives.

"Even if we make another Penguin, the one who lived with us will still never come back."

As we leave, I look back.

Penguin looks happy.

Goodbye Penguin.

Thank you.

* * *

_For everything there is a season,  
__And a time for every matter under heaven:  
A time to be born, and a time to die;  
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;  
A time to kill, and a time to heal;  
A time to break down, and a time to build up;  
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;  
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;  
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;  
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;  
A time to seek, and a time to lose;  
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;  
A time to tear, and a time to sew;  
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  
A time to love, and a time to hate,  
A time for war, and a time for peace._

_Ecclesiastes 3:1-8_

* * *

A/N: I'm finished! I had to re-read the manga chapters.

I had a sudden inspiration to write this fanfic about Hotaru when Mikan and the others go after Z.

It's meant to be really sad. I was practically crying when I read the part about Penguin letting go. ㅠ_ㅠ *sniff*

Well, please review everyone!


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